Is there a better time than vacations?

Getting away from what you have to do and doing what you want to do with the people that you love.

You could write about one single vacation. The freaking fantastic trip that was just so much fun. You got lost and laughed about it. The one meal you will remember for the rest of your life. How the hair on the back your neck stood up as you looked at the Sistine Chapel, Half Dome in Yosemite, crystal clear waters in Hawaii, the  perfectly calm lake you had all to yourself, the coffee you shared with wife on the beach you had to yourselves or looking up at the skyscrapers in New York City. Share the joy and happiness of those vacations that touched your spirit and left deep memories you happily carry with you all your life. 

Vacations reveal a rare and wonderful side of your life. You are out of your routine. You are exploring the far reaches of the earth and of your soul. Be mindful of what you are experiencing in these special places. Vacations provide a very special time to find new Personal Truths – you like lonely beaches, you seek a little thrill or sense of danger, you like row boats better than canoes, you like looking at the surf better than swimming in it, you love talking about how to grow love in your life and you can’t stand talking about politics. It does seem like changes, such as a change in location, lead to additional changes like finding a new thought that makes you very happy.

Take ten minutes out of each vacation day to journal a few thoughts. Just the fact that you commit to writing some new experiences down will help you be more mindful and more observant of the new things you are experiencing.

You can’t make someone else do something they don’t want to, but you can influence them and show them things they have never seen. You can gently turn their head and allow them to see something that have never seen.

If your grandchildren read a letter from you they will naturally think, “What about the other grandparent? What about their life story? Don’t they love me just as much?” These are natural and logical thoughts that you can use to your advantage. Tell your spouse how important their letter will be. That your grandchildren will get the wrong impression of them if they don’t write a letter. They will mistakenly think that your spouse didn’t care enough to write the letter, didn’t live an interesting enough life or had something to hide.

One of the great beauties of writing a letter to your grandchildren is that it is only a letter. It doesn’t have to be a 300 page memoir. It doesn’t have to be Shakespeare or Hemingway. A two page letter is still a letter. Job done.

Encourage them to just get started. The sooner the better. Buy them a spiral notebook. “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” Ask them to write two pages a year. That is entirely doable. Baby steps. 

Direct them to this blog site. It is full of inspiration and helpful suggestions. 

Be encouraging. Never criticize. Do not be a critic. Be a supportive coach cheering them on. Anything they write is wonderful. 

Timing is critical. There will be golden movements when they will be more receptive to writing; getting older, the passing of a friend or loved one, a serious illness, a family squabble or moving away from family. All of these moments are difficult and it is the difficult times when people feel compelled to write and make sense of the times that don’t make sense.

Encourage your spouse to start writing their letter today.

Oh, the joys of the holidays!

The traditions.

These are moments in a person’s life closer to their heart than Monday’s or Tuesday’s of the working week. These are the days we get to have things our way. We define holidays, jobs define weekdays. These are the days we share with the people we love and the people have to get along with. Holidays are ripe with writing material.

You can write about the traditions your parents gave to you that they created or were given by their parents. How many generations has this been going on? What new traditions have you created? What are the moments that fill your heart and make your eyes leak? 

It doesn’t have to be Christmas. Maybe you’re one of those people that spend 100 or more hours decorating your house for Halloween. No judgement. That’s what make you special and unique. Write about it. 

Personally, I could write 50 pages about the tastes of Thanksgiving and Christmas, the portability of Father’s Day, the compelling reasons to celebrate birthdays for an entire week, never going out to dinner on Valentine’s Day and the never-ending joys of Groundhog Day.

Share the shape and color of your heart on holidays. Let your grandchildren know which ones you really love and those that are overrated. Get specific on the details. About how fun firecrackers where at nine years old or how your wife’s aunt made a Polish potato salad that rocked your world. 

Write about the people you were glad you saw on holidays and the people you could have done without. Why did you want Aunt Sally to be there and found every minute with Uncle Raul like fingers on a chalkboard. How Christmas has all the stress of buying presents and Thanksgiving has days and days of football. 

Writing your own story is scary work. It’s opening yourself up and putting yourself out there. But it is doable. You just have to be brave.

The first step is killing the dreaded critic in your head. There is no other critic. There are no critics on the outside when you write. There is only the critic in your head. The trick is to find the right words to say to them in your head that makes them go away quickly and completely. 

Here are a couple of suggested things to say to your inner critic to get rid of them so you can move forward with your writing.

“This is just a first draft and I don’t need you for a shitty first draft.”

“I believe in my better angels, not my fearful and draining ones.”

“Ok, I know you are there. I recognize you, but I don’t have to listen to you bad mouthing what I am working hard to do. You just sit over there. You may whine and moan, but I refuse to listen to you. I have work to do.”

“I am making the choice to believe in myself.”

“I wrote yesterday. I wrote the day before that. I am going to write today.”

“The only person that can make me doubt myself is myself. I choose to believe in myself.”

If these work – great, you’re done. If they fall short, write your own. But whatever you do – don’t give up. Find the words that work for you. They will be your magic words. Make your own magic. You have that power. You have the power to create. 

GetRdone!