You can’t make someone else do something they don’t want to, but you can influence them and show them things they have never seen. You can gently turn their head and allow them to see something that have never seen.

If your grandchildren read a letter from you they will naturally think, “What about the other grandparent? What about their life story? Don’t they love me just as much?” These are natural and logical thoughts that you can use to your advantage. Tell your spouse how important their letter will be. That your grandchildren will get the wrong impression of them if they don’t write a letter. They will mistakenly think that your spouse didn’t care enough to write the letter, didn’t live an interesting enough life or had something to hide.

One of the great beauties of writing a letter to your grandchildren is that it is only a letter. It doesn’t have to be a 300 page memoir. It doesn’t have to be Shakespeare or Hemingway. A two page letter is still a letter. Job done.

Encourage them to just get started. The sooner the better. Buy them a spiral notebook. “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” Ask them to write two pages a year. That is entirely doable. Baby steps. 

Direct them to this blog site. It is full of inspiration and helpful suggestions. 

Be encouraging. Never criticize. Do not be a critic. Be a supportive coach cheering them on. Anything they write is wonderful. 

Timing is critical. There will be golden movements when they will be more receptive to writing; getting older, the passing of a friend or loved one, a serious illness, a family squabble or moving away from family. All of these moments are difficult and it is the difficult times when people feel compelled to write and make sense of the times that don’t make sense.

Encourage your spouse to start writing their letter today.